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45 records found.

AD&D Monster Manual Addendum Mar 10, 1997, 04:00 EST

Submitted by Peter Fung

Barney resides in a great temple and television studio on the lowest plane of the Abyss, with areas extending into every lower plane and prime material plane via transdimensional gates. He is constantly surrounded there by 1-100 Barney zombies clutching plush dolls and lollipops, which they may use as +2 maces in combat.

Adventures of the Educational Kind Dec 22, 2003, 02:00 EST

By Leandro

As I'm driving in a snow storm during a clear and sunny sky--at one point in my life I would've found that very strange, but after this year, I thought it was very fitting--it later occurred to me that Einstein didn't check for ID either. I must have a face that emanates an aura of automatic trust. Or she's just not very bright.

Ah, sweet recognition Mar 25, 2005, 04:00 EST

By Livingtochill

For some reason, we've stopped trusting each other. It's drilled into us as children. "Don't talk to strangers." "Never open the door unless your parents are around." We compartmentalize people in order to separate ourselves from them.

Ahi, Rama Feb 24, 1999, 05:00 EST

By Leandro

The other night I was heading home, coming from the video store, and this guy coming from the opposite direction, stops me. After quickly introducing himself to me, he asks me if I knew that Jesus died for my sins. Well, no fucking shit he did. First of all, if I didn't, I would by now. I think one of the amazing things about Toronto is that there is always some generous soul, standing in some corner, trying to save mine.

al-Qaidaville Mar 3, 2003, 05:00 EST

By Peter Steen

Thinkin' 'bout Osama, here on Grand Bahama
They say the war's about all the oil
Pluckin' at my thong string, tuggin' on my nose ring
They're gonna lance Saddam like a boil

Alien Resurrection Dec 10, 1997, 03:00 EST

By Peter Steen

Thank God that whoever is responsible for Alien Resurrection has some humour, some originality and some brains. Going into the movie theatre, I was worried that the latest Alien flick was going to be some lamely-hashed out excuse for a shoot-em-up quick moneymaker.

Almost barred on barf Sep 15, 1997, 02:00 EDT

While pursuing one of the final credits for my Bachelor of Fine Arts Degree at a well known Toronto University, I happened to enter a class dealing with the politics of art, held at one of the most prominant art galleries in Ontario. As a term project, debates were assigned. Since my last name is what it is, I was given last pick. Fortunately or so I thought, I was assigned a rather interesting subject--that of Jubal Brown, the "barfing art critic."

American Gods by Neil Gaiman May 13, 2002, 04:00 EDT

By Melissa DeWilde

Think of America. Think of the people living there and who have lived there. The Vikings, the Indians, slaves. The immigrants from Ireland, Japan and everywhere in between. Now imagine the gods they brought with them: the spirits, the leprechauns and demons.

An open letter to the jerk who kicked me on the subway yesterday Jun 22, 2004, 03:00 EDT

By Zoid-ah-Sin

Maybe you had loved ones at home you were eager to get to. Although, in your case, I'd guess that the term "loved one" is probably in reference to your left hand and a bit of lotion--a small bit of lotion.

Anal-retentive Stuck-up Pedantic Uncut Mothers Feb 24, 1999, 03:00 EST

By Lilith DemHareIs

First of all, the walls were a mess. And the carpet cleaner wasn't a 'real' professional, since he's got a bad reputation. (Funny, nobody had told me.) There was dust on the blinds, and marks on the floor, and dust in the window crevasses, and (gasp) there were fingerprints on the lightswitches!!

Anatomy of a Bad Movie Apr 14, 1997, 02:00 EDT

By Raymond Belair

"How did that piece of crap ever get made? I could have written a better movie!"
How many times have you walked out of the theater muttering these phrases?

Anime Sucks! Nov 17, 1999, 05:00 EST

By Goat ''I'm not bitter'' Boy

I hate anime`. I was raised with anime`, and next to a dubbed version of Rocket Robin Hood, anime` was the next best thing to that and a giant enema. I don't know if it's a common thing in Europe, but in Italy, even now, you flip on the channel and you can find re-runs of all the blasted anime` cartoons that I had to endure.

Anti-anti-Americans May 17, 2003, 03:00 EDT

By Smitty-boy

This story, like all good stories of our time, is a story about a girl, and love in times of war; without the war, love, or the girl. This story is actually about hate, anti-Americanism, a bathroom, and of course, communism.

Anti-Spamming Bills introduced in Congress Jun 2, 1997, 02:00 EDT

Courtesy of Olga Altshuler

Two bills with vastly different philosophies have been introduced into Congress to deal with the e-mail spamming issues.

AOHell Jan 27, 1997, 02:00 EST

By Lilith DemHareIs

Never in the history of the Internet has there been a larger collection of perpetual newbies than America Online (AOL). How do they do this? Easy. First, AOL is populated by Americans. Second, because of this, AOL has to make its software *extremely* user friendly. That way, any idiot can use it efficiently. (And third, many do.)

AOL Nov 16, 1998, 03:00 EST

By Rev.Sean C. Rothstein-Jacobson

There is a wealth of idiots on the net, and they deserve a little abuse... oh hell, a lot of abuse...

Apostrophic Alliteration Jul 21, 2004, 01:00 EDT

By Melissa DeWilde

This past Saturday was witness to one of the proudest moments of my life. I made a difference. A small, anonymous difference, but that doesn't matter.

Are we just nuts? Mar 2, 2004, 01:00 EST

By Sky

I find myself in a 'to call or not to call' situation. The short version of my story: A guy I was dating (fairly casually) for over two months broke up with me because he wasn't ready for a commitment he assumed I wanted. Weeks have passed. I haven't called since he broke it off. However, I've certainly wanted to (many, many times) since it ended, even though I'm not exactly sure what I want to say.

Arranged marriages Oct 13, 1997, 05:00 EDT

By Dee S.

Currently, I am twenty-three years old and being the oldest of four siblings my parents have started to hunt down for a son-in-law. Nevertheless, my parents are aware of my views, but insist that they know what's best for me. Although I have lived in Canada all my life and have adopted perhaps a different mentality that they have, I have managed to delay this ongoing process and continue my journey in life the way I want it to be.

Articular Properties Nov 10, 1997, 05:00 EST

By The alarmingly uneventful Adventures of Rik

is your life missing something?
do you long for something different?
do you feel trapped in your current situation?
then do i have a religion for you!

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