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B

28 records found.

Bachelour Noodles Dec 28, 2000, 04:00 EST

By Leandro

There are three things that quickly identify you as a bachelor. The pile of dirty clothes, your sink and the state of your fridge.

Bad Historical Comparisons and What Iraq is really about Mar 24, 2003, 01:00 EST

By Tim King

Comparing Saddam Hussein to Adolf Hitler is absurd under any context. Hitler was voted into power. He then recontextualized and consolidated a demoralized country into the most formidable military power of its time. Iraq is an impoverished, third world country run by a dictator who has to spend most of his time watching his back, and has nothing like the cohesive government let alone the economic and military might, that Hitler wielded before and during WW2.

Bagels of the Grateful Jan 16, 2002, 05:00 EST

By REVSCRJ

For all the shit I give hippies, truth is: I really like them more than most of the cliques Humans have coagulated into; but GOD FORBID that I should ever have to work with that many of them again! GOD FORBID I should ever have to listen to SO MANY GODDAMN HOURS of Grateful Dead, collectively, for the rest of my life.

Bah, so this is Christmas... Dec 24, 2001, 05:00 EST

By Tess Toth

If I hear "Deck The Halls" one more time I am going to take a couple of candy canes and ram them in my ears to stop that horrific tune from destroying the little brain matter I have left. So help me God.

Balancing on the wheel: Misadventures of a Strange Kind Jun 23, 1999, 04:00 EDT

By Roshni Bajaj

Five months into 1999 and the only resolution you haven't given up on is the one you haven't yet tried. Your June self simply isn't good enough for your January self. Let's not even get into September. Don't kid me -- that's my story too.

Banffology Sep 20, 2004, 04:00 EDT

By Rolo

For those of you that do not know, Banff is a small town situated smack dab in the middle of one of Canada's most beautiful National Parks. This place is aptly named, Banff National Park and is about an hour from the city of Calgary. After much debate, it was decided that the we, four friends from age of adolescence gone by, would explore Banff at the invitation of a friend of ours.

Beaten with the Measuring Stick Dec 6, 2004, 05:00 EST

By Lost Correspondent

You think you're a more intellectually and emotionally evolved person. You come to Capital of Nasty, you read the astute writings of those who conglomerate here, think about it, agree with it or outright dismiss it as a waste of ones and zeroes that add up to nothing at all.

Being Here Jul 23, 2002, 01:00 EDT

By Tim King

I came here when I was eight years old. We moved to Montreal in 1977 just months after Bill 101 passed. We read information on Canada: it's an immigration friendly country! it has two official languages! it's a big country with lots of natural beauty! I guess one out of three isn't bad.

Being Misquoted Sep 25, 2000, 02:00 EDT

By Jason MacIsaac

Everybody's got a little quirk when it comes to the English language. Some people just hate hearing certain things--it causes your frontal lobe to growl, your face to grimace, it clenches your butt cheeks. Some people hate seeing commonly misspelled words like "alot," double-negatives, or non-existent words like "irregardless." With me, it's the improper use of quotation marks.

Best Kind of Wonderful Aug 24, 1998, 04:00 EDT

By Lilith DemHareIs

The Best Kind of Relationships, I believe, are the monogamous marriages. You know the kind, the ones that last forever, and you see a little old man kiss a little old lady every time he leaves the house, even if the reason behind leaving the house is to go pick her a flower from the garden.

Better Education Through Chemistry Mar 20, 2000, 03:00 EST

By Jason MacIsaac

I never had one of those inspiring movie teachers. You know, the ones like Robin Williams in Dead Poet's Society. Nobody encouraged me to stand on desks and shout poetry. That's fine, because the Augustans and Romantics put me into a deep coma (Victorians and Moderns fucking kick ass).

Big Green Coffee Jun 26, 2000, 05:00 EDT

By Jason MacIsaac

They paved paradise and put up a Starbucks
With plenty of grinders and a bunch of fake arthouse schmucks
Do we need another one?
There was a bookstore but now it's gone
They paved paradise and put up a Starbucks
Shoo-bop-bop-bop-bop, shoo-bop-bop-bop

Bill Gates and IE Jan 26, 1998, 06:00 EST

By The alarmingly uneventful Adventures of 'sum-fink from my hed' (Milkshake)

Long ago, I was a user of IE 3.0. I was happy with what it did. I also used Netscape as both browsers are better at some things. I was happy, life was good, browsing was fun.

BILL GATES: Politically Incorrect Things He Could Say Mar 10, 1997, 03:00 EST

By Jason MacIsaac

"What do you say to an OS/2 programmer with a job? Big Mac and fries, please!"

Bipoetic Senses Feb 9, 1998, 04:00 EST

By Christopher Stolle (Indiana Poet)

They are never going to go away.

Birthdays Jan 26, 1998, 03:00 EST

By Leandro

The two stories that follow were written in typical special moments when you feel that your creativity has either reached a peak, or you are feeling so out of your mind, that you end up giggling about the tablecloth. This state is either reached with a constant lack of sleep, something which we are experts at, or with the aid of other products, which are scientifically approved by CoN scientists.

BK WARS: Episode IV -The Restroom of Doom May 12, 1997, 03:00 EDT

By Peter Fung

It was just another one of those uneventful days at work, where we almost always get swamped by the masses of people who enter our establishment, just to get something loosely resembling food into their empty heads. For me, it was one of those shifts that start wonderfully in the morning! I HATE MORNINGS! To add to it, I got back from taking my girlfriend home late, the night before, so I was functioning with the coordination of a wounded waterbuffalo.

Blah-biddy, Blah, Blah Mar 20, 2000, 04:00 EST

By Jeff Wright

One of the repatory theatres was showing a Se7en/Fight Club double bill last week. I went and saw Se7en on both nights. The cinematography alone was worth the price of admission. If you ever get a chance to see Se7en in a theatre, jump at it. If you haven't seen it, or haven't in a while, give it a watch or a re-watch. David Fincher is just so damn good.

Blasted Pussies Oct 11, 2005, 01:00 EDT

By Jakob Straub

I for one was thinking about the absurdity of the situation: regardless of the fact that it was not our habit to watch porn together, here we were, discussing - no, just listening to her going on about - a porn movie none of us had seen, yet we did not let that on.

BOFH Nov 29, 1999, 05:00 EST

By the BOFH

It's backup day today so I'm pissed off. Being the BOFH, however, does have its advantages. I reassign null to be the tape device - it's so much more economical on my time as I don't have to keep getting up to change tapes every 5 minutes. And it speeds up backups too, so it can't be all bad can it? Of course not.

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