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D

35 records found.

Damn you Nov 29, 1999, 06:00 EST

By Seinrrha Iceheart

Note: yes, we know 90% of people on CoN have told us that they hate poetry, but I thought: "hey, why don't they shut up and stop whining like dogs in heat, and let that 10% be happy, for once?" Please?

Daylight Time Savings Apr 7, 1997, 04:00 EDT

By Leandro

It was a late Saturday night, and I had just gotten home. It wasn't that late, just passed 1 in the morning. I turn on the computer for a quick check at my e-mail, and Windows '95 kindly pops up with a window informing me that daylight time savings had occurred, and why not, it will change my computer's time to 2 AM.

Dead American soldiers now worth $100,000 May 24, 2005, 01:00 EDT

By Curtis M. Carlson

As we have all heard on the news, Georgy boy wants to start paying soldiers families $100,000 for their dead child, dying in their oil war. The previous benefit was $12,000.

Dead Trees in the Dirty Ground Sep 1, 2003, 05:00 EDT

By John Iadipaolo

I wrote these lyrics while planting trees up in Northern Ontario. Basically it's a song for people who like tree planting, and who also like The White Stripes. For the eight people out there that applies to, enjoy.

dear grandpa Apr 22, 2005, 04:00 EDT

By graham

my grandma recently passed away. they were married for fifty one years. that's a long time. everyone was very sad. especially my grandpa. sometimes when something sad happens, it is hard to know what to do.

Dear Mr. xxxxx Mar 15, 1999, 03:00 EST

With J.L.

Maybe we should have a little contest here... how long has it been since you have been on a date? I bet I have you beat.

Death Apr 6, 1998, 03:00 EDT

By Improv

I likened this experience, and in fact, any situation that is similar to the following analogy, picture this: A little boy suffers from cancer... terminal cancer... nothing you can do... well looks like we gotta put a bullet in Billy. That's how I feel.

Death isn't funny Dec 4, 2000, 02:00 EST

By Edward Knoll

Case in point: two kids hop into glorified riding lawnmower a couple weeks ago during Take Your Kids to Work Day and manage to get themselves killed by crashing into a PARKED truck. No, it wasn't even moving, man. Not to mention the vehicle they were in tops out at 30 km/h, which for comparison is exactly how fast phlegm leaves your nose when you sneeze. In fact, somehow these formally-living examples of Darwinian principles in effect became lodged under the parked truck, so snuggly that rescue workers had to break out some hardware to get the pieces out.

Death To Irony Jun 24, 2003, 03:00 EDT

By Smitty-boy

Alanis Morassette wrote a song in ‘95 that was, in my and most other’s opinion, stupid. The song is entitled Ironic. I had forgotten, or repressed, this song until recently. I unfortunately heard it on the radio, but I forgot what station it was so I now risk hearing it again. But, as I listened, I realized how badly she needed a dictionary.

Debbie in Love Apr 5, 2006, 04:00 EDT

By Curtis M. Carlson

There was one special lady who lived in the four-plex group home that I worked at. Debbie was 35 years old and had been put into the state hospital by her parents as a young child. This was during a time when society believed that the state could care for this population better than their parents and the community.

Deceive Me Mar 25, 1997, 03:00 EST

By Valentino Assenza

Fake thy smile for I see gloom
Fake thy sound for I hear doom
Fake thy recipe for death
Fake thy taking of my breath

Decyphering Parking Signs in Toronto Dec 9, 2001, 01:00 EST

By Leandro

I think that 90% of the City of Toronto's revenue is based off of parking tickets. On my street, today, they changed the parking signs again. They not only look shinier and prettier but they are also more incomprehensible than before.

Democracy is Bad for Business Oct 28, 2002, 01:00 EST

By Tim King

Recently I've been struck by the confusion Americans have over understanding the Indian subcontinent. Pakistan sided with the U.S. in the "WAR ON TERRORISM" and suddenly this military dictatorship that overthrew a democratically elected government to gain power are the good guys. That means their enemies, the Indians, must be the bad guys... right?

Depressed people Mar 15, 1999, 04:00 EST

By Leandro

I watched her hop away with one thought in my head: "only sixteen".

Devils Advocate Nov 24, 1997, 03:00 EST

By IMPROV

Devil’s Advocate, not my first choice of movie to see on a weekend where big name films such as Bean, and I Know What You Did Last Summer opened. In fact, I was in line to see Kevin Williamson’s sophomore big screen creation, I know..., when the final show of the evening sold out. (Welcome to the world of Cineplex, "Sure we have 17 screens, but they only hold 4 people each.") Williamson’s first movie was last years sleeper hit "Scream", in case you’ve been in a coma. The only remaining show was "Seven Years in Tibet", well needless to say that wasn’t even an option. So, off to another theatre to see anything.

Diana Sep 15, 1997, 05:00 EDT

By The alarmingly uneventful Adventures of Rik

Diary of a Mad Security Guard Nov 19, 2002, 04:00 EST

By Leandro

Most of these softcore movies seem to have the budget equal to the change I currently have in my pockets and appear to have been filmed in someone's living room. Like how the crooks have this generic-looking office, but put the camera at a different angle and suddenly it's a police station.

Die Motherfucker Die! Apr 29, 1999, 05:00 EDT

By Pat Adams

The more they struggle the worse I'd make it. Flesh screaming from the pain, mind in turmoil from its flesh being burned away. Bodies broken, mangled, defaced, bent into most unnatural positions.

Dinner with Mr. Hu Jul 18, 2005, 05:00 EDT

By Brian Newman

There was one question I never wanted answered, the entire time I was in China. The question was a simple one: "What's for dinner?"

DirtyGirl on Quizmaster Apr 1, 1999, 02:00 EST

A Gameshow hosted by Jason MacIsaac

Jason: Thanks Johnny! Hello everyone, welcome to another edition of Quizmaster. I know you're all ready to test your knowledge along with the guests of our show. Let's get right to business and meet our first contestant, DirtyGirl!

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