When things are going just too well

Seeing as I have very little time to write an actually article lately, I decided to make a list of things that depress me for this chipper issue... hopefully some of you can relate, and if not don't be afraid to make a list of your own, because, whenever things are going just too damn good, we all need something to bring us back to earth. So here we go:

THE FOLLOWING THINGS DEPRESS ME, IMPROV:

Any Olsen twin show.

An old man alone on a park bench.

A worm stranded on the sidewalk after a storm.

An Overtime loss.

Long distance prices.

Chipped paint.

The fact that my mother thinks, "that Jeff Foxworthy isn't just funny, he's wise."

Rotten fruit.

Carrottop.

Death, unless it's an Olsen twin.

The M*A*S*H episode where Henry Blake dies, I swear I cry every time I see it.

Albinos, no wait, they just creep me out.

Jerry Springer's popularity.

Unused utensils that gather dust.

Drug use.

The fact that no one remebers "The Great Space Coaster".

People who think, "everything is going to be okay."

The realization that I'm no longer innocent.

The fact that Night Court isn't in syndication.

Missing children, unless it's an Olsen twin.

The fact that I hardly talk to my Dad, and when I do...I don't have anything to say.