Editorial

Welcome to Issue 8 of Capital of Nasty.

Issue 7 broke the tradition of silence from our readership and we had a response record never seen before. Our first writer is Angela:

[...]

Hokay back to reality and men are not scum. I quite like them. There are times, however, where i'm sure we have been wired very differently in the brain and that can be quite heartbreaking sometimes, usually just frustrating. There are things about men that i just do not understand and probably never will. But it is important to keep in mind how differently the genders are socialized! Certain behaviours are encouraged of us growing up and this explains a lot of our thought processes and attitudes. Oh well. They already did the whole Venus and Mars thing. I can relate to a lot of what the author said in the "Scum" article, a couple of those things confuse and frustrate me too, but it's just not that cut and dried.

Have you seen the commercial, i don't even know what for, where the guy and girl are watching TV, a sports match of some kind. Actually, he's watching, eating chips, and she's reading some Cosmo article "Is He Right For You?" as she sighs woefully at her poor choice of a couch potato boyfriend. Then this music comes on, and the potato dude transforms himself (in the girl's gaze only). She looks at his belly, and, to her delight, it transforms into a washboard stomach. His "wishy-washy" eyes change to bright piercing blue, and so on (then he comes to her to whisk her away and when he's right in front of her changes back to boyfriend with a thunderous belch).

You know what Leo? I was fucking OUTRAGED! That is just disgusting. You know why? Cause what the FUCK would chicks say if the commercial featured some DUDE watching his girlfriend as she transformed into some fucking Barbie doll? No, the advertisers knew better than to fuck with that, right? So we don't get treated to the sight of the girlfriend turning 'look-at-me' blonde, her waist sucking in, her tits growing into delightful D cups, etc. on her way to becoming the Ideal Woman. They do a twist on that, and think it will appeal to us! I think that commercial is fucking insulting to men AND women alike, and i guess that's why i can't remember what the commercial is even flogging. The advertiser is probably just trying to balance things. Perusing a magazine rack on campus i overhear comments from young girls like "Oh my gawd is it POSSIBLE to look like that?" "I'd kill for a body like hers", etc. and a quick scan of the racks reveals more gratuitous chest shots than i care to think about. It doesn't matter whose self-esteem is being undermined, or that women's is thought to be more fragile, that commercial is just plain unhealthy.

Off of my soapbox and into the fridge for some dinner, I remain, ME!

It was said, in our last issue of CoN, that no letter would be made fun of in the Editorial: we lied. Brian Newman also adds his few cents:

Anyone who "eats" at Subway must be Very Stupid.

Yes, you're absolutely right. Only a total fucking moron would eat at a Subway.

Every sub, with the one exception of tuna, tastes exactly like every other sub.

How do you know this? Why, you must have eaten there!

Ben Popken replies to Samantha's "Happy Easter" article:

Samantha, you state:

"I can't help but wonder if Easter has been entirely lost on the human race. I mean, they did it to Christmas. It became less about the birth of Christ, and more about a fat man in a red suit getting his ass stuck in our chimneys in order to fill up our overgrown socks. Where the hell did that theory come from??? Not to mention the Christmas tree- I mean, I'm pretty sure there wasn't an evergreen growing next to the manger, which Mary happily decorated before she gave birth."

You make a very good point about the emptiness of Easter and even Christmas, how they have become excuses for marketers to sell candy and presents. Every year, these holidays become less and less about spirituality and more and more about crass conspicuous consumption. However, the principal blame lies not on Hallmark or Hershey or Mattel but with pagans. Pagans, prior to the arrival of Christianity, were getting along quite fine with worshipping trees, dancing in groves and having massive orgies, as was the custom. However, when missionaries came along and converted the "heathens," the forrest people weren't about to just totally drop their culture and practices and start wearing their Sunday best, punishing themselves for their sins and not masturbate. The pagans held onto many elements of their culture and incorporated it with the new Christian rituals.

"My question to you is, where did chocolate bunnies and eggs come in? Did everyone celebrate in his resurrection by biting the head off of a chocolate peter rabbit after they rolled the stone away? I just don't get it."

The holiday of easter happened to fall around the same date that a certain pagan fertility/welcoming back spring festival took place and it followed that some of the symbols of the pagans would cross over into the new Easter celebration. The rabbit, symbol of fertility due to its large litters of offspring, was one of these and the hiding and discovery of eggs were one of the rituals. The same thing happened with Christmas because the tree and the decorating of it had to do with some pagan winter solstice deal that happened around the same time as Christmas.

However, the candy/gift-card companies are no less culpable for so savagely capitalizing upon the holiday. But I guess, in the end, mankind itself is most to blame, for the marketers wouldn't sell the product if there wasn't any demand. People should remain true to the true nature of the religion and reject false elements. But again, I guess it's not necessarily people's fault. Eggs and candy and everything has become inexorably linked with Easter and Jesus Christ and God and therefore, because it is "religious," people feel compelled to go along with it. Who can argue with God? Especially when it's about eating chocolate. God can tell people not to steal and our jails are filled with car-jackers, bank robbers and lawyers. But when God tells people to eat chocolate covered bunnies and creme-filled easter eggs, everyone listens. So, in the end, who's to blame?

Everyone. Everyone is guilty of devaluing the nature of religion. Except for me, i don't practice Easter.

I'm an atheist. I keep Christianity pure by not corrupting it with my membership.

But I still get to buy all the chocolate at 75% off after Easter. Yummy.

_the_devil_you_know protests:

"Brought to you by C.C.C.P. (Collective Communist Computing Proletariat)"

What the fuck do you mean by Communist boy? We beat them godless Bolshevic arseholes into submission. You better remove that offending word or I'm gonna get all NATO on yer ass.......

USA: WE ARE THE MIGHTY AMERICANS. WE TAKE SHIT FROM NO-ONE. ESPECIALLY THOSE RED-ASS COMMUNISTS.

CHINA: Kiss our asses.

USA: Ok! Would that be with tongue or without?

Alan saw the light in CoN:

There are whole novels that one could write on the issue of stupidity in our society. One could concentrate a whole mailing list on this issue.

Little things that happen to us in everyday life, when shared properly, can really make other human beings sympathize with you.

Some find that the little things that one talks about are rather insignificant, yet I can assure you, that it's the little things that you mention in your e-zine that really stick with someone after they read your paper. Issues such as "bathroom etiquette" and "I dropped my pen, now I'm on a killing spree" may be considered non-worthy to appear on CityTV, but they sure mold one's personality and the way one sees this world.

Our next issue will be about schools and the fascist paradise. If you feel that you have a topic that CoN should cover, write to con@capnasty.org (just hit reply to this issue). This issue is secretely dedicated to the folks subscribed to the Def Con 7 mailing list.

Be good. Obey street signs. Read CoN.