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So, I'm basically an insomniac. Up all night. Am now officially hooked on infomercials. I admit it. I've watched the entire "Food saver" bit, and even own a few "Tae Bo" tapes just cause I thought the infomercial was cool. So yes, I lead a sad and pathetic nightly existence. However, I am recently coming to the realization that I can't be all that sad. Yes, there ARE individuals more pathetic than I. They are those that fall for all the recent diet and health fads. For example, I saw an ad for a pill called (well, I'll call it) "Cheat Your fat ass outta your money" the other night. A weight loss pill. Apparently you'll lose weight fast by ordering the pill. Out of curiosity, I checked the box of those so-called "miracle" pills. It's funny when you take the time to check out the fine print... "weight loss not guaranteed. Must be used with intense diet and exercise program. So basically, the pill does nothing for me. No thank you. Now lets move on. Another pill, can't remember the name of it, let's call it the "Will Make you thin but also fucking repulsive"drug. Yes, you will lose weight, and not on a special diet or anything. But there are a few slight side effects. For example, the uncontrollable bowel movements. Or how about the oily liquid that is constantly coming from your ass? Yeah, I'm ordering me a whole truckload of that crap. Then there's the new cure for acne. Yes! A cure for that pressing pubescent problem! You can get rid of those pesky pimple problems with this daily cream. However, you may encounter the small side effect of RECTAL BLEEDING!!!!!! I'm sorry, but even a zit on my wedding day does not seem to justify bleeding out of my ass. Sure, sure these are only POSSIBLE side effects, but I can't help coming to the realization that these things MUST have happened to some poor soul out there. Yep, somewhere there's a thin guy with great skin who's constantly shitting up blood and oil. Man, the things we do to ourselves in order to look good. Is it worth it? I think not, but there may be others who disagree. Yes, those are the one's who purchased the new drug that combats hair loss. The side effects: complete and utter stupidity.

Samantha is a starving university student, and is nowaccepting all food and money donations care of UofT.Also, send any cheat cheats, essays marked with A'sand even some B material ASAP. No C's or lower shallbe accepted.