Titanic

Okay, so I just got back from my first viewing of James Cameron's Titanic. I'll be honest, I wanted to HATE this film. What with all the hype, and pomp and circumstance I thought that this movie was going to have to give me an orgasm to meet my expectations. I looked forward to trashing this 200 plus million dollar nightmare...and much to my dismay, I loved it. Unlike certain over hyped predecessors (i.e. Jurassic Park) Titanic is, well, great. I am disappointed to say that there was very little I can complain about this extraordinary film. You really have no idea how much I wanted to tell you that this was the crapiest movie I've ever seen, I wanted to say that I'd prefer to watch a Pauly Shore movie (actually TWO Pauly Shore movies in this span of time) rather than sit through this again. Alas, I'd gladly see this again, and in fact, look forward to the time that I do get the chance.

I sat down expecting to see a boring love story set to an all too well known historical disaster. Instead I watched an intriguing spin on forbidden love and a spin on a sad tale that I'd never imagined. Often in many disaster films, the idea of the individual suffering is lost. It normally is replaced with carnage, but in this take of the greatest sea disaster ever, Cameron retells the unbelievable suffering that took place. He portrays the mass destruction that the Titanic was responsible for in gut wrenching form, and yet he doesn't lose that personal edge that separates and average disaster film from...well this: a classic. As an audience member, you know that Rose (Kate Winslet) survives and Jack (Leonardo Dicaprio)...well isn't quite as lucky, but Cameron still keeps the audience on the edge of there seat. What with the love story and special effects this movie should please all. With one exception...

I thought that the most painful thing in world was to watch Billy Zane movie...that is until earlier tonight. The only thing worse than Billy Zane acting, is Billy Zane acting with a fake Limey accent. Christ I hate that guy, that guy is as talented as Sinbad. Anybody see the Phantom? Didn't think so. There's a reason for that, HE'S TERRIBLE. Mind you, Mr.Zane isn't the only one who attended the Kevin Costner School for Acting and failed "Mastering Foreign Accents 101". And let's face it, if you FAILED that course, you're in rough shape. Mauritzo (sorry, don't know the guy's real name), Jack's friend, talks like Chef Boy Ardi, "Heya thera Jacka...you wanna somma meatballs? Maybe a later we coulda playa somma bocci ball ah on a the decka... hunh?... Jacka? Whya you ah no ah answerah meah?... Jacka?... Huh?" Then there's the fightin' Irish boy...is this guy related to one of Dr. Evil's henchmen in Austin Powers? I don't remember his name, but we'll call him Lucky...too trite?...okay...Tam...O'something or another. All of that aside, I loved every minute of this movie. I actually found myself asking Jack or Rose to say the words, "I Love you." I was entwined in the love story and engulfed in the sorrow of the disaster. Sorry to disappoint you folks, this has just been another positive review of Titanic. I really wanted to hate it...really I did.