Positive Anarchy

So here we are again, late as usual, and this magazine is deteriorating into what I would call a demented collection of things which are relativety funny. Friday night, after coming out of the movie theater, we stopped at a coffee shop. Someone said that he could count serious articles that appeard on CoN on one hand. I looked at his hand and he had four fingers up. "I have cramps" he explained "I can't bring those four fingers down".

Well, it's true. CoN just simply isn't. It's something which people might look at you weird and for politeness they say "oh, isn't that nice.." but hey, what am I supposed to do? You think it's easy to think of something new each week? I honestly was hoping for something exciting this week, that me and the other guy at work found ourselves wishing that someone would rob the store on sunday. Somehow without getting killed, and doing some of the heroic manoeuvres mentioned in my past no frills story, the robber would have been neutralized. We would've been on the papers mentioned as heroes that saved the life of the cashier taken hostage, and when they asked us questions we would definately not answer with that geeky "oh, I just did what everyone else would've done".. bullshit. I was sick and tired of putting up the cheese and convincing people that I did not work here that when the chance came to show that I am not just another ordinary grocery clerk. This is instead what happened:

Customer runs out of the store with a basket full of stuff. Me and the biggest guy I could find in the produce department chase after him. We catch him, and since I had no idea what to say to him I ask: "uh..scusme sir, do you have a receipt for that?"

The very big, very strong looking guy gives me a look of death and simply answers: "no".

"ehmmm...." I say scratching my head. Usually I'm fed a dozen weird excuses.

"Do you want this back?" he went on, pointing at the basket.

"Uh, sure" I said "thanks".

The very big, very strong looking guy began walking away from us.

"Ahem, sir, you'll have to come with us" I dared.

"No I don't" and he kept going.

"Uh.."

The rest of the day was an exciting retelling of how we caught the guy but decided, in our enourmous generosity, to let him go with just a slap on his hand and a warning. The other guys patting us on the back, the cashiers looking at us with dreamy eyes.