The CoN Movie Review: George of the Jungle / A Simple Wish

I was brave. I brought my sister to see both "George of the Jungle" and "A simple wish" on the condition that my girlfriend would then take her to see "Good burger". She said "sure" and asked if the movie is any good. "Good burger? Yeahhh..." I answered "Damn good movie!" I got this feeling I will be single soon (or dead). Since I had promised my sister that I would take her to see the darned two movies, I had planned to see "A simple wish" first, since I had assumed it was going to blow goats, and "George of the Jungle" last since I was pretty sure it was going to be amazing. If I had only known...

"A simple wish"

Although many looked at the fact that this movie has Martin Short in it, and that annoying little kid from "Matilda", this movie is a must see, especially if you have a brat sister that you want to keep quiet for a while (while she is distracted you can sabotage her Tomagotchi).

I arrived in the movie theater thinking that this movie was going to suck, and I was surprised to see it was actually funny, instead of dumb. Remember the girl in Matilda? She's back, this time she's the daughter of a wannabe Broadway show singer dad who, for a living, pulls a carriage in Central Park. Since the little girl's teeth is falling out, Murry (Martin Short) pays her a visit to grant her a wish. Of course Murry is clumsy (kids apparentely love that about people) and screws up her wishes. Dad turns into a statue, the horse on the carriage turns into a mouse, the carriage itself becomes a pumpkin. Of course there are also the forces of evil, as a Fairy God Mother gone bad (turned to the "dark side") steals all the wands from the other Fairy Got Mothers in order to be an all powerful witch. Guess who's turn to save the day?

There are plenty of frogs, but that's not before turning a tobacco-chewing redneck in Nebraska into a 50 feet tall Rabbi. That scene alone is worth watching the movie. Lot of computer special effects throughout the movie, but they are very well done, and most of all, not overdone.

If you need a movie to take your kids to, and you want to enjoy it as well, I suggest "A simple wish". It's got everything a kid wants to see

"George of the Jungle"

Why?
You'll hear yourself repeating that question many times.
Why am I here?
Why are we staring down the cleavage of that woman?
Why are his jungle-boxers getting closer to the "danger line"?
Why are all these women in the movie looking at George and drooling and making comments of a very sexual meaning?
Although this is a movie, you will be tempted to yell back at George that "maybe George is just stoopid", but tests have proven that the actors on the screen can't hear you.

I used to watch "George of the Jungle" in the morning because it was fun, and because it was a lot better than watching "Rocket Robin Hood", so I had entered the movie theatre expecting a funny movie that even I as an adult (I'm an adult now) could enjoy.

Instead I find an actor that could easily be a combination between Jean Luc Van Damned and those psychotic facial expressions that only Mel Gibson has, with oil all over his muscled body and jungle-wear that always seemed to be ready to fly off. Oh and he crashes against trees a lot: not even my sister laughed after the nth time.

Something I did not expect from a Disney moving was seeing George arrive via UPS (advertising?), open up a box and put on Nike Air, only after he shows them to the camera in every possible angle.

One thing I noticed by Disney movies, new or old, is that there seems to always be a scene where an animal does something particularly stupid, and everyone just laughs for way too long. I guess it's one of those Disney By-Laws: "If making a movie, it must have a 2 minutes 45 second part where a monkey eats a banana, and everyone around laughs like idiots".

Oh, there is a plot, but the moment you start watching the movie you will probably figure it out right away. I don't want to ruin this great flick for you.