Editorial

This issue of CoN received a major torpedo hit on the portside (whatever part of the ship that is). IMPROV had sent me two articles to use for the next two issues, and unfortunately, due to some bizarre error along the transfer, each paragraph was missing the end. Since he had sent them to me a few hours before the distribution of this week's issue, I went looking for his number. I found my first girlfriend's phone number, which of course I thought was long lost, but no luck in finding his. I wrote him a desperate e-mail hoping that he would read it and so the minutes are ticking by before midnight.

Every Monday, a script written by Gard, the Editor of Spontaneously Combusted Literature <http://www.scriba.org/slc> and administrator of the Scriba Org server, sends me a report of how many hits CoN's webpages have received and from where some of the hits came from. To my surprise many them look like this:

http://www.search.com/Infoseek/1,135,89,0200.html?QUERY=tight+asses&COLL=WW

http://guide-p.infoseek.com/Titles?qt=%22TIGHT+ASSES%22&col=WW&sv=A2&pg=q&what=web&fmt=&q=&x=25&y=5

Okay. So a couple of them were looking for tight asses. I can understand that, since if you search for Capital of Nasty this is what the Query will report back:

Offensive Reading for the Masses
Achtung! - ATTENTION If you are in search of SMUT, hooters, legs, lips, tight asses, noses, fingers, body hair (male or female) or the Toronto Blizzards Soccer Club, then you have come to ...
100% http://www.capnasty.org (Size 7.6K)

This one left me even more surprised. I mean, come'on "How to jack off"?

http://www.infoseek.com/Titles?qt=tight+ass&oq=how+to+jack+off&sv=IS&lk=noframes&nh=10&col=New+Search

And this one?

http://w3.box.sk/cgi-bin/marek/box/box?pwd=&prj=box&gfx=box&txt=Magaziny+spolocenske&key=spomag&fil=*&lan=s

I checked it and I got this under Capital of Nasty:

"Capital of Nasty - magazin pre tych, ktori sa nechcu dat politicky zorientovat!"

Can someone translate that for me?

In the last issue of CoN I had published the letters from freak-woman. Remember her? She freaked in Issue 37 and then wrote that she couldn't wait for the next issue to come out. She did not write back but her friends did. Here is one of the letters, the most normal one I could find:

From: "Koi Verchandt"
Subject: Friends of Bronwyn

We love Bronwyn.
Be nice to her or expect the revenge of the fluffy bunny hugs.

Sincerely not fooling around.
The Friends of Bronwyn

That message was followed by several virtual postcard with bunnies hugging.

To make things worse I found myself caught in a terrible lack of inspiration. I started sobbing with Morbus, the Editor of Devil Shat <http://www.disobey.com>. For my lack of inspiration he suggested something quite interesting:

As for inspiration, beat me. Make me feel like my zine is insignificant. Write something about why Capital of Nasty is better than Devil Shat, and make three points. Tack it to your wall. Send it to me. I'll tack it to my wall. And then we'll have a helluva lot of inspiration for different reasons. Always worked for me. <g>

Okay, so here are my three reasons why Capital of Nasty is better than Devil Shat:

My e-mail works more often then yours does. Instead of not receiving my message, I get parts of them.
Brownyn Mitchell. Do you have your own freak-woman with her little freak-friends writing to you and sending you cuddly fluffy bunny hugs? I think not. Tight Asses and How to jerk off hits: I bet both of them you never got such delights. Ha!
Anyway, this editorial is already too long, so I'll stop now. My apologies to you all. I'll leave you with the latest edition of CoN wishing you all a cuddly fluffy bunny hug week.