CoN Goes to the Movies

Howdy. I'm sure my CoNtribution to this issue will make many people, happy little girls and boys. I'm very much not in the mood to write, so I shall be brief.

MOVIE #1:

THE BLADE (dir. Tsui Hark)
I got this on LD via HK, last week, and hot damn does it kick ass! To sum it up quickly, it's a mean little fucking one armed swordsman movie. There's more going on in it, but I don't feel like going into it. Just see it. It's a great fucking movie!

MOVIE #2:

LAWRENCE OF ARABIA (dir. David Lean)
I saw this for the first time today, and really liked it. Peter O'Toole kicks ass! I'm sure I'm the last person on Earth to have seen it, so I shan't write any more about it.

MOVIE #3:

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA (dir. John Carpenter)
Now available on DVD, in a sweet special edition. Run out and get it!!! If you don't like this movie, there's something wrong with you.

MOVIE #4:

RUNNING OUT OF TIME (dir. Johnny To)
A cool HK drama/action flic about a hostage negotiator and a criminal with a few days left to live. Under the assured direction of To, and with fine performances from both the leads, the movie rises above what it probably would have been had it been made by someone else. Not that I want him to go to Hollywood have to make shit like Tsui Hark did (DOUBLE TEAM, KNOCK OFF), but when is To gonna be given the chance to make a big Hollywood film?

MOVIE #5:

A BETTER TOMORROW II (dir. John Woo)
In my opinion, this is one of those cases of "the sequel is better than its original". The original A BETTER TOMORROW didn't do much for me, but this one is a joy. It's filled with great action, and has a scene involving Chow Yun Fat and rice, which should be placed amongst the funniest moments in cinema history.

MOVIE #6

ATTACK THE GAS STATION (dir. Kim Sang-Jin)
This is a cool little Korean comedy, about a gang of youths who in an attempt to rob a gas station, decide to stick around for the night, and hold it hostage. Not a great film, but certainly entertaining. I wouldn't be surprised to see a Hollywood remake of this within the next few years.

MOVIE #7:

THE BEAVER TRILOGY (dir. Trent Harris)
This is an interesting little independent film, that if you get a chance to see, you should. It's a collection of 3 short films about an energetic young man, who impersonates Olivia Newton John at a school talent show. The first short (the best of the bunch), is documentary. The second, with Sean Penn in the lead role. The third, with Crispin Glover.

MOVIE #8:

THE ORIGINAL KINGS OF COMEDY (dir. Spike Lee)
I didn't get it I guess. Bernie Mac is one funny motherfucker though. I'd recommend a rental of it, just to see his routine (he's the last comedian, so ready the FFWD button).

MOVIE #9:

PEARL HARBOUR (dir. Michael Bay)
Save your money. I enjoyed about 5 minutes of its 3 hour runtime.

That's it for this issue.

Later.

Jeff is anxiously awaiting next week's DVD release of BIBLEMAN. He's a little worried that if he dies without having seen it, he may go to Hell.